What's in a Name?

Mollasia

Melissiya

Milisha

These are all names the cook at our home stay would call out when she was looking for me and that I would answer to. ( the only one I refused to answer to was malaria).

 Here in the city I have acquired many new names including Mona lisa, Liza, Malasia, and greenie ( I wear a lot of green).

 My name is hard to pronounce and remember for people; it is an uncommon name here. It doesn’t bother me though, I love that they try and they want to get to know me. Besides it's kind of fun to have new nicknames and believe me it’s a two way street; I am awful at remember/pronouncing South Asian names.

Besides it’s not my name that I want them to remember anyway, it’s the father’s.

Durga Puja

Durga is a Hindu goddess who is the reincarnation of Shiva’s wife and as far as gods go in Hinduism she is pretty important. She is the one that has ten arms and a weapon in each hand. She destroyed the evil that was going to take over the earth by receiving power from three other gods. Durga is the goddess of strength and power and she cleanses or “purifies” the evil from human hearts. Her puja lasts from October 2^nd -6^th; it’s a pretty big deal to say the least. I would describe it as a mixture of Christmas, the carnival, a circus, and idol worship. From a certain perspective it is a beautiful holiday, there are beautiful lights everywhere and each community spends and enormous amount of time and money to construct an elaborate tent with scenes from Durga’s life, the most popular is her defeating the evil (that looks a lot like how Satan is often portrayed).

Durga killing the monster 

There were over 1,000 tents put up in our city and there is a competition to see which community constructed the best tent. The 5^th of October is the day where families wear their new clothes and finery and go out to see all the different tents around the city.

One of the tents from the outside

Lights!

Cute little boy in his new clothes at one of the tents 

On October 5th I went with my friend Nirmali to meet her auntie aka sister-in-laws family, and it was just one of those days that nothing went the way I thought it would, but it turned out to be a very insightful day into south Asian culture. There were lots of random family member’s at the auntie’s house that had come for Durga puja and I just joined in. They were really sweet, and really excited that I had never seen a puja before. They decided to take me to one of the biggest temples in the neighborhood where thousands of people were lined up to give an offering to the God and/or receive a blessing. There was evidence of water buffalo sacrifices earlier in the day and just so many people around me, there to worship Durga…I have never experienced anything like that I just wanted to cry. A priest interrupted my thoughts. He asked me where I was from and invited one of the cousins I don’t know and I upstairs to his house leaving Nirmali behind. In my head I was a little panicked with the sudden turn of events but it turned out to be fine. The priest’s family fed me my third huge serving of rice and local dishes for the day. It was around this time I was supposed to meet up with some of the people from our NGO but I realized there was no way I was going to be able to leave the priests house in time so I called and told them to go on with out me.

Puja

incense offerings

When we finally left the priests house and headed back to the sister-in-laws house I explained that my friends had went already. After that there was a huge discussion in the local language that I am not nearly fluent enough to follow but I understood that they were trying to figure out what to do with me. At first I felt bad like I had inconvenienced them, but I think that was just my American mindset, they were so happy I had decided to stay with them, they just wanted to make sure I was back home early for safety reasons. So once it was decided I would stay with Nirmali we headed out to see some puja tents. The first one was amazing. In a huge field area there were these paper-mache giants that were carrying a wedding tent and the crowd was going through the tent to look at Durga dressed in her wedding attire for Shiva on the inside. Families are out dressed in their finest, there are vendors throughout the field selling cotton candy, balloons, and other various toys that I you might see at an American carnival, it is just a beautiful picture, to an eye that is not aware of the truth. To an eye that is it is a heart-breaking image; it is the reality of the stronghold that is here.

Durga

After that Nirmali and I headed home stopping at a few other tents on the way home. One was animated and showed Durga actually destroying the devil; it’s a weird feeling you get when you have heard that story told a different way. Durga Puja is many people’s favorite celebration here and it shows. There are 3 million people in our city and on October 5^th everyone that lives here invited all their aunties and cousins from surrounding towns and go out to look at all the tents. I’m not kidding, I’d never seen so many people in my life.

As strange as it all seemed to me I realized it was all perfectly normal to everyone else there, this is what they all expect to happen every October 5^th, probably the strangest thing to them was that a white girl was there. We finally made it safely back to her home exhausted from our day. It was a good cultural experience for me, and it really seemed to secure Nirmali and I’s friendship even to the point where we could discuss some of the things that I had seen that night in a new light for her.

Beauty Parlor Affair

In America I am not the type of girl to go to a beauty parlor…ever. Before coming to South Asia I had never dyed my hair, had never gotten a facial, or a pedicure but as I began building my relationships at beauty parlors I have had all three plus other various beauty tricks.  There are two beauty parlors on my street that I walk by everyday, and most days I stop in to chat. It’s a delicate balance I have to keep in order not to offend anyone that I had my eyebrows threaded somewhere else, but so far there hasn’t been a problem. It’s just enough to be friends; they are happy when I pop in for a few minutes on my way to the NGO office and ask how their day has been and maybe practice a new story of truth I have learned in Assamese for them and their customers. It always starts my day off right too.

Beauty Parlors are a great way to meet women friends here in South Asia.  The first beauty parlor I went to began to feel a little too American occupied (there are 6 other white girls here), so I decided to branch out and find a new one. I am so glad I did, it has really changed my life here.

The owner of the new parlor I’ve been going to is named Mala and she is like my Assamese mother. If I go out with her she holds my hand and steers me away from people with lingering eyes. Last time I was sick she came over to check on me, felt my forehead to make sure I didn’t have a fever and wrote down a home remedy to help rehydrate me. She has two children that I adore, and they seem to have similar feelings. I love how the culture works here, someone can just be accepted into your family, and those kids refer to me as their auntie now. It’s just a great connection that has definitely been orchestrated from above. She had Jade and I over to celebrate October Bihu with their family. We just hung out together and ate a lot of wonderful food like a real little family. I just love being with them, its my home away from home.

The other girl, Nirmali, is basically my best friend here. She is Mala’s apprentice and as I mentioned in my last blog she is 21 and a widow. Her husband died of a sudden heart attack three months into their marriage. As a Hindu widow “remarriage is not socially admissible, but flexible.” I’m not sure exactly what that means but it sounds like she probably won’t be remarrying anytime soon. You would think she would be very sad, but she is one of the most genuinely happy people I have met here. She lives with her mother-in-law who is deaf, but I would compare their relationship to Ruth and Naiomi’s; very respectful and loving. They have handled life's hardships together and just enjoy each other. I have been over to their house several times now to enjoy a meal or an afternoon. I spent the night there during Durga Puja and they just laughed and laughed because I had to borrow Nirmali’s nightgown (she is probably 5’1) and normal nightgowns are supposed to go to your ankles, and well.... her’s barely covered my calves. It didn't help that it was a pale pink color, coincidentally the exact shade of my skin. 


 Between hanging out at her house and the parlor we have really developed a strong relationship, and I am able to share stories of truth with her and we can talk about serious topics that South Asian women talk about. She also is great at helping me with language learning. I have made a notebook with the local language and English translations and we often go through that together and she writes down English phrases she wants to learn and adds to the my collection as well. She is a great teacher because she is willing to correct my grammar when I am speaking, which is great it’s the only way I am really going to learn and I really appreciate her. Her birthday is on December 9th the day I get back to America...

Hanging out at the Parlor with Nirmali

Long before I arrived in South Asia I had been asking the father to prepare my way, and to give me people to do life with here. He has been faithful in that, there is no doubt, from the people I work with at the NGO, to my home stay family, the people on my street, but especially in my dear friends at the Glare Beauty Parlor he has provided in a mighty way.

September Happenings

Well since my last blog post was September 1st let me just give an over view of the past month. My computer crashed pretty early on in the month so I attribute that to not writing and also I am just a busy girl getting used to the culture here.

 Eid

Jade and I in our Saris

                Eid is breaking the Ramadan fast with HUGE feasts! It's kind of like Thanksgiving, but if you are a lucky person you might be invited to several homes for the feast. Some of my American friends and I were invited to one of our national friends house to experience this occassion. It was really a good time we got to wear our sari's and get all dolled up in the first time in 3 months and just enjoy time with our friend and getting a better idea of her world view.

I observed a school for a future teacher training in a little village. It is so amazing to me how different their schooling experience is from my but yet how affective it seems to be.

My new favorite place to hang out is the Glare Beauty Salon. The two ladies that work there have become my best friends. One's name is Mala. She has two adorable children, and is very motherly toward me. I love it. The other one is an intern, her name is Nirmali. She is 21, she is a widow. Her husband died two years ago 3 months into their marriage of a sudden heart attack. I spend countless hours in there just watching them do their stuff and engaging in conversation. I practice my language there; they teach me the local language and I teach them English. I just really love them. 

My friend Maddy had a birthday. We went to KFC and took a boat ride on the Brahmaputra to celebrate. It was great.

 

 I attended a parent’s day program with Mala to watch her kids. It was amazing. There were so many kids! Each grade performed a traditional dance and were all wearing costumes. It was one of those moments I wished I had someone with me to share the awe of the experience.

 

 

I witnessed the Iron God Puja. On this day Hindu's worship everything that is made of metal; from a screwdriver to a bus. All the machinery that is used daily is decorated all fancy and worshiped.

I found out I have lice

I survived my first earthquake!

Wise Astrologer Man

I visited my first Ganak village. (Ganak people are the people that Jade and are focusing on for our ethnography.) It was so interesting. Ganaks are astrologers that prepare horoscopes for Hindu people and they have been calculating stars and their position for thousands of years. It's fascinating.

I got my ear pierced with one of my friends that I made during a youth service. We ended up getting matching piercings and she was just so happy about it, she couldn't quit smiling.

Had tea in a department store and made a new friend

Rode next to the bus driver, excellent view.

View from the front of the bus

 

The neighborhood I live in is called Hati Gown which literally translates to elephant village.

My friends at the grocery store had me cussing people out in the local language....oops.

Crossing the road here is like playing frogger with your body. Luckily I haven't lost yet, but it is quite the adrenaline rush.

Simple Joys

Teaching Home School P.E. to our supervisors two girls

Walking down the road in my neighborhood and being able to stop and talk with people that live and work there (in their language) and just get to know them



Some of my favorite people to stop to chat with in the neighborhood



 I love the people at the NGO office. If I love the people at the next job I have half as much I will be a very happy person.

Just sitting in the Glare Beauty Parlor being with my friends

New Friends!

In our home stay, our mom was very well known and respected, so it was very easy for Jade and I to make friends because everyone accepted us because she accepted us. Here in the city we are on our own. We have made fast friends with all the people in the office. I love all my American and National coworkers, they make the work here very enjoyable, but I still want to meet more people, especially some that do not know the father. It is important to be in different houses in communities to continue learning about the culture and language.  In our schedule one day a week is set apart strictly for going out and meeting new people. Let me tell you about some of the people I have come to love in my new home.

• My first friend I met through my supervisor. She is a young lady about 21 years old; she is married, and has a son who is 3 years old. Her husband is an auto driver and she is a stay at home mom.  After all her chores are done she has a lot of time on her hands so I try to come during those hours. I have made a commitment to visit her at least once a week. She does not speak any English so this is a great chance to practice my language and learn more. She taught me how to make tea and I often help her cut up vegetables for lunch. Her little boy has a love hate relationship with me. It is fun to have Monalisaby (That's what they call me, the by on the end is an affectionate term meaning something similar to aunt, and Melissa is hard to pronounce so I go by Monalisa there) at his house and look at all the crazy things she carries in her purse, but it is not fun to share his mommy with her. He sometimes attacks me, haha, last time though I brought him some gems (which are similar to M&Ms) and we were on better terms now. I really enjoy my time with them and feel very comfortable in their home.
• A lot of the time it is hard to meet women because they are in the homes, not out walking in the street. I walk by this beauty parlor every day and one day it hit me that there would probably be women in there, so I went in. It was only the owner there, but she was the cutest little lady and we had a long conversation about ourselves and I ended up getting a facial from her. (It was the best thing that has happened to my skin since I got here) After I was done we talked a little more and then she told me to stop by her shop anytime to visit with her or her customers and practice my language. I am very excited about this and fully intend to get to know her better.

• One day I was walking down the street asking the father where I should go to make some new friends when I saw this lady sitting in a shop all by herself and realized the opportunity had been given. I went up to her shop and began a conversation with her about the things in her shop (it was a grain shop). Her husband came in and she introduced me to him.  Next thing I knew I was sitting in a chair in the shop with a cup of tea, samples of their different grains fried up, my photos of my family, and about 20 men in this shop. The husband was so impressed with my language he was inviting people walking down the street into his shop to listen to me speak their heart language. Probably the funniest thing about that was that the husband introduced me to his nephew and then he asked me "he is beautiful no?" and through my limited knowledge of the language I understood he needs a Mrs...I just laughed and told him my father was not here to approve and that I had someone in America waiting for me. He invited me to his house and I took Jade and one of our other friends from work.  It was really a good time to get to know the family better and it was nice to be welcomed into someone's home again. I see them every time I walk to and from work so I am getting to know them pretty well. They have proved to be pretty faithful friends too, the other day a rickshaw driver was trying to over charge us in front of our friends shop and he came and took care of it for us. It's good to know that they have our backs that’s for sure.

It's nice to have people that I am close enough with that I know I am going to miss when I have to go back to America. I am hoping to meet some more soon!

Jade and I with our new friends after a tasty lunch :)

22nd Birthday

Well I will never forget where I was for my 22nd birthday. Besides being my favorite number there is really nothing too special about my 22nd birthday EXCEPT it was my first birthday out of the United States and a pretty good one at that. It was a very cultured day: I woke up in South Asia. Jade made me breakfast in bed. For lunch we went out for Chinese food with the rest of the education team including two of our closest national friends. It was so fun. Here Happy Birthday has three verses: Happy birthday to you, happy long life to you, and may God(s) bless you. At the office all my colleagues made sure to tell shake my hand and wish blessing on my life. They even wrote it on the announcement board (see picture above). It was really sweet of them, I really appreciated it.Then at night all of my American friends took me out for Italian. It was really tasty and for my cake we got these brownies that are on a hot skillet and they put ice cream on top and then drizzle it with hot fudge that sizzles on the skillet. Quite the treat i must say. Needless to say it is a birthday I will never forget. 

The Day of City Travel 101

I have been adjusting to city life a little bit more every day. I would have to adjust to city life in America, so it’s even more difficult in a different culture. Some days I feel very comfortable here and other days I just want to stay in the quiet of our home. One thing that I have to get used the different public modes of transportation. They include the following:

• ·         Rickshaw - This includes a little man peddling a bicycle and the passenger sitting in a cart/carriage type thing. Rickshaws cannot travel very far, but they are cheaper than autos and pretty convenient when you are running late. It is probably the one I use the most. Price about 10-20 rupees depending how far you’re going.

• ·         Autos - These are kind of like taxi's, except not. They hold 3 plus the driver legally. You have to be tough with these guys or they will try to charge you more than the fair price. Depending on where you are going it will cost 50-150 rupees.

• ·         Bus- I have not taken the bus very often. They are very crowded and there is not really a system in place as far as where you are going so you have to be familiar with the area. Men just hang off the doors of the bus and shout out where the bus is going. It is the cheapest mode of transportation 5-7 rupees.

Last Sunday I went with two of our teammates, Ash and Shay, to work on a drama for youth day with some youth we know. We were fortunate enough to be able to access all three modes of transportation and had quite an eventful day.

We hailed an auto driver to take us to the neighborhood where we were having the practice. It's quite a ways away from our house 150 rupees worth, but the auto driver said he knew where we were going, but he lied. He dropped us off in the middle of fancy bazaar, which is your stereotypical bazaar you would see in movies or in the amazing race. We are helplessly lost but we have to get out of the auto because we cannot give him directions to get us to our destination because we don't even know where we are at and we are almost out of rupees. We called our friend up and she told us we were probably close enough to get a rickshaw driver if we could find one that knew where the place was. We found one and we all piled into the tiniest rickshaw cart I have ever seen, it was not exactly comfortable. Ash and I were sitting on the seat and Shay was on top of me holding on to the rickshaw for dear life yelling "I love this city" at the top of her lungs every time we hit a speed bump. I'm sure we looked hilarious.

Once we got there practice went really well and we enjoyed the time with our new friends. We went out to lunch afterwards and after we filled our stomachs we were feeling brave enough to try the bus...

Our first problem was we were standing on the wrong side of intersection to catch a bus back toward the way we wanted. It was inconvenient to stand on the side of the road we were supposed to be on though because the buses only have doors on one side, and the men hanging out of the doors say where the bus is headed, and we were no longer facing the doors. Finally one bus slowed down enough Ash was able to go around and ask. A little man poked his head out the window of the bus and told my other teammate and I that the bus was going to our destination. As we started to walk around the side of the bus another bus pulled up and we took a step back to avoid being hit, but unfortunately at the same time we took a step back the first bus, the bus we wanted to get on pulled forward. We were expecting to see Ash on the other side when the bus pulled away, but she was not there. ..SHE HAD GOTTEN ON THE BUS! Shay and I just about died laughing on the side of the road; it was just a hilarious situation. We found another bus that was going that way and we were able to meet up with her at the store we had planned on going to.  Ash told us that it was even funnier on the bus because as it was pulling away all the national people on the bus turned and looked at her with looks of horror and concern on their faces. Their expressions were like "Oh no! What are you going to do?  Your white friends are still on the side of the road and now you’re all alone" I still laugh when I think about it.

After we did our shopping we were going to meet a friend for supper and falling in the pattern of the day our auto on the way there ran out of fuel, but he hailed us another one and didn't charge us which was really nice of him.

It was one of those days that nothing really went the way we expected and it could've been a horrible day, but we chose to enjoy the experiences and it was one of the best days here. Besides I learned a lot of valuable lessons on city travel that day.

Rickshaw

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