Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Beauty Parlor Affair


In America I am not the type of girl to go to a beauty parlor…ever. Before coming to South Asia I had never dyed my hair, had never gotten a facial, or a pedicure but as I began building my relationships at beauty parlors I have had all three plus other various beauty tricks.  There are two beauty parlors on my street that I walk by everyday, and most days I stop in to chat. It’s a delicate balance I have to keep in order not to offend anyone that I had my eyebrows threaded somewhere else, but so far there hasn’t been a problem. It’s just enough to be friends; they are happy when I pop in for a few minutes on my way to the NGO office and ask how their day has been and maybe practice a new story of truth I have learned in Assamese for them and their customers. It always starts my day off right too.

Beauty Parlors are a great way to meet women friends here in South Asia.  The first beauty parlor I went to began to feel a little too American occupied (there are 6 other white girls here), so I decided to branch out and find a new one. I am so glad I did, it has really changed my life here.

The owner of the new parlor I’ve been going to is named Mala and she is like my Assamese mother. If I go out with her she holds my hand and steers me away from people with lingering eyes. Last time I was sick she came over to check on me, felt my forehead to make sure I didn’t have a fever and wrote down a home remedy to help rehydrate me. She has two children that I adore, and they seem to have similar feelings. I love how the culture works here, someone can just be accepted into your family, and those kids refer to me as their auntie now. It’s just a great connection that has definitely been orchestrated from above. She had Jade and I over to celebrate October Bihu with their family. We just hung out together and ate a lot of wonderful food like a real little family. I just love being with them, its my home away from home.

The other girl, Nirmali, is basically my best friend here. She is Mala’s apprentice and as I mentioned in my last blog she is 21 and a widow. Her husband died of a sudden heart attack three months into their marriage. As a Hindu widow “remarriage is not socially admissible, but flexible.” I’m not sure exactly what that means but it sounds like she probably won’t be remarrying anytime soon. You would think she would be very sad, but she is one of the most genuinely happy people I have met here. She lives with her mother-in-law who is deaf, but I would compare their relationship to Ruth and Naiomi’s; very respectful and loving. They have handled life's hardships together and just enjoy each other. I have been over to their house several times now to enjoy a meal or an afternoon. I spent the night there during Durga Puja and they just laughed and laughed because I had to borrow Nirmali’s nightgown (she is probably 5’1) and normal nightgowns are supposed to go to your ankles, and well.... her’s barely covered my calves. It didn't help that it was a pale pink color, coincidentally the exact shade of my skin. 


 Between hanging out at her house and the parlor we have really developed a strong relationship, and I am able to share stories of truth with her and we can talk about serious topics that South Asian women talk about. She also is great at helping me with language learning. I have made a notebook with the local language and English translations and we often go through that together and she writes down English phrases she wants to learn and adds to the my collection as well. She is a great teacher because she is willing to correct my grammar when I am speaking, which is great it’s the only way I am really going to learn and I really appreciate her. Her birthday is on December 9th the day I get back to America...




Hanging out at the Parlor with Nirmali

Long before I arrived in South Asia I had been asking the father to prepare my way, and to give me people to do life with here. He has been faithful in that, there is no doubt, from the people I work with at the NGO, to my home stay family, the people on my street, but especially in my dear friends at the Glare Beauty Parlor he has provided in a mighty way.

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